A tots teaparty

May I hasten to point out that I live in the UK so all the times are fucking fucked up. anyway, todays the day of the miraculous tots teaparty for my neice erin (shes 1 today!) at MY house. Were expecting a gaggle of 'tots' at 2pm. It will be fucking dreadful. Its my mums bday today too - she got hey prezzie yesterday - an orange ipod shuffle. They're shit, but she wanted one lol. she says its the best prezzie shes ever had. but he exelled this christmas and this birthday - she got an expensive - ish designer bag, perfume, chocs, make up n jewellery - and she just got the ipod 4 her bday - ... gtg on msn. no ones talking so im trying to work out a clothes budget 4 the nxt year. lol. not that i'll get it..! Effy X

It's Fucking Love

Hey.. Why am I adressing, as if someone is reading this? Who'll read this anyway? Does anybody read stuff like this? Anyway..! I'm 12 3/4. But I have the mentality of like.. a 14 year old, and I look older, so, lets just refer to me as a teenager. It all begins, this.. thing, with age. In my head, I'm older, sophisticated, and slim. Thats just who I am. Inside. Outside, I'm fucking fat as any-fucking-thing, bumbling, I always say the wrong thing, young, my feet are too big, I don't really have many friends - I just know a lot of people. I have a laugh with a few people, not many. And i'm in fucking fucked up love with a fucking 15 year old. I'm so fucking head over fucking heels. But I hardly ever see him, I just think about him. And Imagine. When we do see eachother, we have a chat and that, but I always think he's thinking, 'God, shes so fucking annoying. And young. Shit, the quicker we go our seperate fucking ways the fucking better!' I do stuff like that all the time, and it really fucks up my head. And shit like that. But the thing is, I think 'Right, I have to give up on him. He'll never like me. He barely knows I fucking exist. I have to let go.' But I can't. I'm completely fucking obsessed. He's not the nicest looking, he's ginger, but he's really, really nice. And funny. Arghhh!! I'll be back tomorrow, well today, cos my fucking vati is quacking its time for bed. God, the joy of it. Bye x Effy x P.S. - you may have noticed i have a bit of a fucking problem with swearing. Sorry if it offends you..! But, why? How can words offend you? Anyway...